I love having my fortune read. Why else would I subscribe to a daily horoscope email which advises me on random visitors who didn’t turn up, business ventures that were not proposed or a certain romantic man that I didn’t meet. Granted, on rare times my Scorpio horoscope would predict something vague but accurate and I would feel I striked a jackpot after reading it, although that feeling should rightly belong to the horoscope writer for getting it right.
Today, I got my fortune read via a fortune cookie. I couldn’t wait to eat it. I swear I could finish the whole bag of cookies just to get a fortune message I like.
The fortune message wasn’t a prediction as thought, more like an afterthought advice I would read from the translation booklet at the Waterloo Street Kuan Yin temple after I tossed out a fortune stick from the tumbler of sticks.
“Don’t repeat the same mistake you’ve made before” – I am told.
The first mistake that came to mind immediately was not to leave my essay until the very last hour before submission, like just now. I struggled and couldn’t write blindly without a guide and topic. In the end, I had to resort to what my prof had advised against – submit an old essay from my library and just edit it for word count. But that’s the way I usually work, mistake or not.
As I ruminated through my years, I can’t really recall a conscious mistake I made. Whatever decision taken was thought to be the best at that moment – mistake or not. A man I met told me about a book he was reading on women and risks, about the risk women take when they choose their spouses, have children or choosing careers over family. Funny I have never considered them risks, just choices.
Sometimes in the heat of the moment, I will tell my youngest son the mistake I made in having him when I could have stopped at two. That’s I agree was a terrible mistake.
A bigger mistake in my life though is not to go after the things I had wanted in my youth – for lack of courage or pure laziness. That boy I had liked in NUS, the choice of subject or just plain request for things. Now I tell myself, if I don’t ask, the answer will always be NO. I could have pursued my writing earlier and not wait until now.
A big mistake was to trust the wine investment guy too much and dumped a large sum of money into an investment with no returns. But then, can trust ever be a mistake?
Other frivolous mistakes I committed, which I am ashamed to admit, is over purchase – more clothes than I can wear, more books than I can read, and more perishables that I can cook which eventually went into the bin.
Regrets, I have a few, but then again, too few to mention, so goes the song “My Way”, which nicely summarises my life.
So okay, there were a few mistakes and I will be sure not to repeat them.