Mother of Young Men

My two eldest sons are 20 and 21 respectively. I thought as a mother, I can finally cut the apron strings and be free of worries. Like the mother of a pair of chicks which has just fletched, the nest empty and I can sit back on my rocking chair and relax (actually there is one more in the nest.) This should be especially easy as both have been through national service and have transformed from boys to men.

However, lately, I have been dishing out advises after advices. Well, these to me are advices, but my sons may classify them as nags. At times like these, when my sons are out until dawn, my only consolation is that thank goodness I have no daughters.

A friend’s son wants to go to Phuket after the A’levels exams. PH heard about my eldest son who went surfing in Bali two months prior and asked me this: Is it too unreasonable to tell my son that he is not allowed to go swimming in Phuket before she gives the permission? Didn’t I worry when Andreas went surfing, such a dangerous sport? I reminded her the time in 1985 when we decided to scale Mt Kinabalu. Did her mother allow her? She laughed. Her mother didn’t agree but she went anyway. I remember my grandma telling me she couldn’t sleep the whole ten days I was away, even though the actual climbing expedition was only two days. Although I worry about my sons’ safety, I feel I cannot restrict them and deprive them of the experiences.

Ivan, my second son, is a night owl and it is double jeopardy that he expects to use my car for his night haunts. I will not allow my car to be driven if my sons are expected home after midnight. Like Cinderella, my car has to be back by midnight. This results in arguments of course, as taxi’s fare after midnight is exorbitant. But I have to remind them yet again the story of my friend’s nephew, an SMU undergraduate, who was killed in an accident in 2006, putting his mother in years of anguish. (

The recent accident where two girls were killed ( was a good chance to reinforce the fact why most fatal accidents happen in the pre-dawn hours. Imagine the guilt of the driver? How would he ever face the parents of the girls? I hope this is the last time we discuss this topic.

Eldest Son will be attending a music festival in Brussels in July during his travel to Europe. I really did not want him to go, as he will be alone but the father, usually the conservative and cautious one, had to give the go ahead. When the father regretted the decision the next day, the son had already booked the ticket. So when I read this news about the KL music festivals (, it got me all worried. I warned Andreas about drugs, and reminded me not to accept any free drinks from strangers, as they might be spiked. The Brussels festival would probably be worse and more rowdy than KL. Andreas listened in silence, wondering if the lists of DO NOT DO for his Europe trip would get longer and longer as the date nears.

PH called me about her son’s brilliant A’levels results and as we chatted, the topic turned to university hostel living and the rampant of sex in hostel. Andreas will be staying in the hostel at NTU and I really have to give The Talk to him soon, or is it easier to just persuade him not to stay in hostel?

Am I the only worry wort?




About vickychong

Just an ordinary woman.
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