Valentine’s Day


A friend of mine is counting down to Valentine’s Day. She is the only one my age whom I know is paying attention to this day. To many of my married friends, Valentine’s Day is just another day of commercialism. To my many single friends (and I have many), the day will also be another ordinary day. So to see this friend looking forward to this day brings a sort of envy in me – there is romance in her life and she is floating towards that day with certain expectations.

The other day while on a Chinese New Year visit to my house, two friends and I were chatting about how we met our husbands (incidentally, the topic was introduced when they saw my ‘handsome – their word, not mine’ son and asked if he has a girlfriend and the conversation proceeded from there).  J lamented that she has never experienced any Valentines’ celebration. While studying in polytechnic, she would look enviously at girls receiving roses. ‘I am not bad looking, right? So I cannot understand while no one is interested in me at Poly,’ she asked us. I nodded in agreement. She is attractive even now, so it’s hard to imagine that she has no suitors while in school. I was introduced to Valentine’s day at the late age of 17 at RJC when I saw fellow schoolmates holding flowers. I was fed on M&B and the romantic atmosphere at RJC that February filled me with awe. Incredible, or not, there was also not a single rose during my four years at NUS (perhaps only at the end of year four when I was courted by Mike). I am going to mimic my friend and said, ‘I am not so bad looking, right?…’ But like the match-making show from China, 非诚勿扰, popular girls with flowers are those quiet, demure type with flowing long straight hair that Chinese boys in their twenties love.

Speaking of  非诚勿扰, I was surprised that the participants who have never had a relationship, described in Chinese as a piece of white paper, is a rarity in the show. Most of the men have at least two to five relationships (with some above ten) and they are only in their twenties. My friends and I described ourselves as ‘good girls’ – we married the only boyfriend we had. “Perhaps it’s our generation,’ they surmised, ‘it’s different nowadays.’ But looking back, my siblings painted a very different picture of romance from mine. My sister had at least three romances and my brother? I lost count. It’s a wonder I manage to get married at all. Perhaps that’s why I immediately married the first boy who showed interest.

Just in case Mike, my husband, is reading this and feeling guilty while he tucks in on BBQ beef in Seoul on Valentine’s Day with whoever he is with, don’t bother. I love staying home on a Friday night – this coming Valentine’s night in the Western and Chinese calendar, nagging at your sons and studying for my Morality course.

Happy Valentine’s Day, Dearest Readers.

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About vickychong

Just an ordinary woman.
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4 Responses to Valentine’s Day

  1. kelly says:

    I was never a fan Valentine’s Day. Anniversaries and birthdays hold so much more meaning to me because it is not an arbitrary day set by someone else. In high school, it was always a popularity contest to see who received the most flowers. It became a farce at my high school when girls bought each other flowers just so they can carry it around the entire day. I didn’t receive any in my freshman year or sophomore year because I was overweight and on the ugly side and I refused to buy a person flowers just so I can get one back.

    Junior year a guy confessed to me and bought me a single rose but I knew he was a flirt so I rejected him. Turns out that I was right as he also confessed to two other girls. Senior year a really nice, good-looking, and sincere guy confessed with a rose, but I rejected him because my brain had been brainwashed by Chinese TV series into waiting for THE ONE.

    Regarding the long hair and demure type that Chinese guys love. I can say that it is definitely true, though the long hair is not limited to only Chinese guys but pretty much all guys.

    • vickychong says:

      A very interesting read! I must say your Valentine’s Day in school is a lot more interesting than mine.

      May I ask, how can you turn down the “nice, good-looking, and sincere guy” at Senior year? He could be the one.

      Are you married now?

      • In my first year of high school, I had a huge crush on this guy but he never paid any attention to me. And then he moved away but I never forgot him, and still liked him because I didn’t find anyone else to measure up to him. I thought he was THE ONE.

        The “nice, good-looking, and sincere guy” was very soft spoken. Not that he was shy but it’s just that I had to strain to hear him talk and I got annoyed with that. Silly huh? But then again I was only 17. Never regretted it though. I do wish that I kept in touch with him so that I can introduce him to my single girlfriends.

        I am married but no kids. I think kids are a huge responsibility that I am not yet ready for.

  2. Pingback: Odds & Ends: Yogurt Guacamole, Valentine’s Day, Hong Kong Malls

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