The mercy of our kids


Many women I know have issues with their mothers even at our age, the reason stemmed from their childhood’s perception that they were the least favoured in a family of many children. This could be true as boys were very much favoured when I was a child.

Now that I am a mother myself, I cannot fathom how a mother could love one child more and another less. Perhaps now that we have less kids, all are precious. So we hope our children, as they grow older, would not have any issues with favouritism like us now.

The recent newspaper article on who the man should save first in a drowning incident – mother or wife, amused many of us mothers with sons. My friend S posed this question to her 13-year-old son: In a boating accident, who would you save first, your wife or mother? Her son answered easily, my wife of course, you can swim and thus save yourself. I asked Aaron the same question. His answer? My wife of course, you are already so old, so should naturally die first.

Do mothers of daughters have it better?

My friend recounted this story during our walk. Her mother was almost misdiagnosed by a gynae that put my friend and her siblings into panic mode. While she considered treatment via the polyclinic route, her brother insisted on going to Mt E. Luckily, it was nothing, and a small treatment by the Mt E doctor solved it. She returned home to tell her daughter that Grandma was okay and that they should strive to become a professional of sort so that they can afford the same treatment for their mother in future.

My friend’s daughter told her, that’s will depend on how you treat me now. You have better not shout and scold me for no reason from now onwards. I was amused but my friend was clearly not.

Asian parents, especially mothers, are highly dependent on their children when old. We hear horror stories of neglect often enough. In another decade or so, I would want to be independent, whether financially or health wise, and savvy enough to decide what medical treatment I need, and of course, fit enough save myself in a boating incident.

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About vickychong

Just an ordinary woman.
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