‘Assume’


Why must you keep using ‘assume, assume’? My mother asked me last night, very annoyed.

I’d just asked my husband if he had assumed that there was double-sided tape at mom’s house for him to use to stick the CNY couplets.

Just moment before, I had accused mom of ‘assuming’ and she was not pleased.

Dictionary.com define the word as: as·sume/əˈso͞om/Verb -Suppose to be the case, without proof

I should be the one who is unhappy. At 5pm yesterday, she told the maid to strip all the beddings, as well as the couch covers to wash, despite the fact that the two laundry racks were full of damp clothes, and the rain outside showed no sign of stopping. Her intention was to pass me all the wet laundry to dry in my dryer. I told her I could not oblige, as I had just done the same at my own house, including protectors and quilts, with two more beds to go. My dryer was and is running full-time.

Why didn’t you check with me first? I asked her.

She blamed it on the maid. ‘Yah lah, the maid should have checked with you.’

Bull shit. “The maid only obeys your every instruction. Why would she even think about checking if my dryer is free? You should be the one to ask me.”

Next, she blamed me. “Why are you washing when the weather is so wet?”

“At least I have a dryer. Why are YOU washing when the weather is so wet?”

Next, she used the ‘guilt’ treatment.  “Ok, never mind, I’ll just ask the (poor) maid to re-soak everything in the water.”

I rolled my eyes. “How can you assume my dryer is there for you to use any time you want?” There, I accused her.

This is in fact not the first or last time I accused people of making assumptions, especially mostly about me.

Aaron would text me, ‘Come now’, as if I was sitting in my car already waiting for his text for me to go pick him up.

(More often than not, he would assume he already knew what the test question was going to ask and so did not even bother to read the questions. ‘How can you assume you already know the questions?’ I would chide him.)

Granny too would assume that just because I don’t work, I sit at home, shaking my legs, waiting for her to call me to run her errands, because all her other daughters, granddaughters/sons are busy earning a living.

Once on a Sunday, mom had just finished buying flowers at World Farm with a neighbour and decided to drive straight to Gran’s house to deliver Gran’s pots of flowers to her. Of course she nor her neighbour were not able to carry the pots upstairs to the 6th storey. So she called Mike to ‘come quickly’ to Gran’s house to help them carry the pots. Unfortunately for her, we were in the middle of a mini-renovation ourselves and could not go. How could she had assumed we would be available at her every back and call.

A corporate trainer once told me that when you assume, you make an ASS of U and Me. Nothing pleasant would follow after that. How right he was.

Chances are, people who make assumptions are often self-centred. That’s why they do not bother to consider the positions of others.

I probably commit the same sin but am just lucky no one is rude enough to tell me off (probably except Bee!). But you know what, I try very very hard to not make both of us asses. You should too.

 
 
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About vickychong

Just an ordinary woman.
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