Anger Management

The beginner’s yoga class on Tuesday morning could not start due to lack of enough participants, which left my yoga teacher free to observe the four of us, her advance students. We were especially mindful about how we do, incase we get an earful from her. Two weeks ago, she was especially chatty. The other three were late and as I laid my mat on the floor when she asked me what is my religion. I replied nothing, i’m a free thinker.
Nothing? You don’t believe in anything?
Only my own common sense, I replied, hoping I didn’t sound rude.
She went on to say she is going for a retreat in BKK during CNY and there would be 100K monks there.
100K, can you imagine that number? I’m hoping to get some donation for them. She said.
But most of them are on NS right? I mean, all Thai man must become a monk as some sort of NS, right? I asked.
No, these are real monks, or people who take a break to become a monk for a few months.
Oh, like my friend. I went on to tell her about him, and how I had donated to support a monk for a year. So sorry, no more donation for monks, I said to myself.
She continued chatting as we went about our poses. It felt really weird. Didn’t she know she was distracting us?
Last week, again the rest were late as they were paying their fees downstairs. My teacher suddenly confessed that she blew her top at last class that morning, and had been behaving this way for the past week. Last week, she scolded the intermediate students because they did not do as she had instructed. Then, she berated her private student who cried after.
I told her she could not do her poses properly because she has this blockage in her, and she needs to unblock her mind. True enough, the student broke down and confessed that she had been hiding a secret from her husband for many years. She said, amazed at her own insight.
The rest came in and she repeated to them what she had told me.
I just lost it. She repeated.
老师, 你现在好多了. My senior classmate reminded her. Teacher was much worse before.
But I thought if you meditate, you should be able to control your emotion? I asked teacher.
I know when I’m about to blow up, that’s the trouble, she had sighed.
At least when you are aware, you can control it. We know your good intention, although the new students may not tolerate it, I comforted.
At the end of the lesson, the subject still weighed heavily on teacher’s mind. She told us a student had told her no one had ever scolded her, not even her own mother, and here she is, getting scolded by teacher every week.
Well, if my yoga teacher, who had spent two weeks on a meditation retreat at St John’s Island in December cannot control her temper, I think a small fry like me should be forgiven if I lose it once in a while.

About vickychong

Just an ordinary woman.
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