It’s the new year.
I woke up at 5.45am with much difficulty. This is despite the fact that I had been waking up early at 6am-ish for the past few mornings. The thunderstorm that fell didn’t help. How nice to crawl back to bed, i thought.
Last night, I had told Mike that starting from today, I would go for a morning brisk walk after sending Aaron off. Since it’d been raining every evening, I haven’t been jogging and had noticed my pants getting tighter. Yet this morning, I was debating if I should go for my walk alone…I needed to get back in time to make breakfast for Andreas…its too dark…all kinds of excuses. The rain solved my dilemma.
Lee Wei Ling wrote in yesterday’s Sunday Times that she is not in the habit of making resolution. We should change our undesirable behaviour and mend our ways as soon as we discover that our behavious is less than honourable; there is no need to wait for the New Year to resolve to do so. Her words put me to shame.
I have been making resolutions since I was a child, when I found out what a resolution was. How cool, I had thought, as if by making resolution on New Year’s Eve would make them all come true. I’ve since found out it’s takes hard work on my part. Yet, it’s a habit I can’t break. Thus I had look forward to 2010 with mixed feelings. There are many things I told myself I want to resolve. I can’t wait to get to work at it. On the other hand, the thought of it is daunting.
So, this year I did not make any resolution, although secretly I might have done so with the early morning walk thing. So how come I have this uneasy feeling that by not making resolutions, I had somehow ceased to improve?