Yesterday, after posting my family’s photos in FB, I wanted to tag the people in the photos so that they’d be informed that the photos are up. Despite going through the list a few times, i failed to find Ivan’s name. I went into my friends’ list and sure enough, I’ve been kicked out of his account.
I felt a mixture of emotion surging through – hurt, indignant, and of course anger. When I’m in such a state, irrational thoughts raced through my mind – To think I breastfed him the longest at five months to be treated this way – kick me out of FB and still expects me to wash his clothes and fold his underwears – must have something to hide…
After I’ve calmed myself down, I thought hard about it. It’s only online. Can you imagine how it’ll feel to be kicked out of his real life, like how my friend’s hubby, an only son, did to his aged mother? He had complained that his mother had neglected him when he was young. She had used to telephone them during her birthdays for dinner treats but since they moved and changed their phone numbers, my friend had not seen the MIL for a few years, not even during Chinese New Year.
When she told me that, I was aghast. Perhaps she’s died and you don’t even know? My friend could only shrugged.
Last night at CTSS Teachers’ Day dance practise, I griped about this to the other parents. To my surprise and hers (she thought she is the only mother to have her kids kicked her out of FB), one mother told me that both her daughters had kicked her out too, as they did not want her to see their photos posted online after she had made some comments before. That was comforting to know – I’m not the only one. To be very honest, there were many times I was not pleased with what I saw on Andreas’ FB but I refrained and restrained myself from commenting.
Last night, i also witnessed another friend and how she relates to her son, who had volunteered to teach us the dance steps. There was an easy camaraderie between them, very unlike my own relationship with my sons, which had deteriorated recently (which happens during major exams years like PSLE or O’levels).
How do I acheive what she has? The only way for me to do that is for me to ignore how they perform academically and just let them be. Would I be able to do that? It’s hard not to push them, but that’s what I been doing for the past two weeks and I could only do so because in my mind, i’ve accepted to let them fail.
Pathetic, isn’t it?