On the other hand, the new romantic comedy Wild Romance on KBS looks promising. Actor Lee Dong Wook, last seen in the boringly depressing Scent of a Woman is amazing in a comical role. He plays a notorious baseball player who gives his bodyguard, played by the very cute Lee Si Young, a hard time. Initially I thought that they were just acting cute, but after last night’s episode, I conclude that they are really cute as a couple, and funny too.

Only two episodes of Wild Romance are aired weekly – two episodes of bickering and making up, worthy of a classic Mills and Boon (M&B) Romance. Speaking of M&B, I was surprised to read recently that they are still the leading romance book publisher in the Western World. They had just conducted their annual Valentines’ survey on kissing and romantic habits. (http://www.prnewswire.co.uk/cgi/news/release?id=97929 ) M&B books can hardly be found in any local bookshops anymore, but then, bookshops are also fast disappearing in Singapore. Instead, I am seeing many Little Black Dress series books, which I had borrowed one from NLB. The story involves an ice hockey player and a female reporter assigned to the team. She is an outcast in an all male domain and thus ostracised by the players but she falls in love with the goalie even though she is not his type, the tall, blond, buxom and sexy type that - the Hooters sort that sportsmen go for. Jane admits herself, ‘I think it’s pretty safe to say I’m not Hooters material.’

I was amused to read about Singapore in the book when Luc the goalie replied, ‘I know for a fact they hire short girls. I’ve seen them in there. Of course, that was in Singapore.’  I didn’t know if I should be insulted or flattered when I read it.  (Page 96, See Jane Score, in case you want to read it.)

In another new book I started last night, Singapore was again mentioned. ( I didn’t know Singapore is so famous.) On page 4 of The 7 Best Things (smart) Teens Do, the passage describes a punk with multicoloured hair and body piercing sitting across an old man in a bus. The old man stares at the young punk, who barks at the old man, “What are you looking at? Didn’t you ever do anything wild when you were young?” The old man replies, “Yeah. Back when I was young and in the Navy, I got drunk in Singapore and had sex with a parrot. I thought maybe you were my son.”

…….

Here are some traits of an introverts: Introverts do not have to mean shy. Shy people actively seek to avoid social situations,because they may be inhibited by fear. Introverts shun social situations because they simply want to be alone. They prefer not to engage. While extroverts draw energy from mingling with large group of people, introverts find such social interactions taxing.

Societies, especially in the western world like in America, value extroverts. In school, it’s the bolder kids who get attention from teachers. Even in Singapore, kids are now trained to speak out more in class. In Aaron’s school, HCI, there is even a grading for how actively one participates in class, something that would be quite daunting for an introvert. A friend who went for a scholarship interview told me that interviews are no longer one to one, but in a group and one has to be among the fastest to raise one’s hand to answer the questions.

According to research, Introverts are born this way, with a lower threshold for stimulation than others. Extroverts are a little like addicts who are always seeking out stimuli in the healthier form of social situations. So to cope, most introverts have to fake their way through.

For your information, introversion and extraversion aren’t fixed categories - there’s a personality spectrum, and many, known as ambiverts, fall in the gap between the two traits.

I took a quiz in the Times Magazine and it appears from my score that I am quite an obvious introvert. (If you disagree, I was probably faking when I was with you.) I’ve always known that. As a child, I was described as shy. Being brought up in the Asian way – children are best seen and not heard – also contributed. Thus, I am not surprised if most Asians my age think themselves introverts too.

Aaron told me his score was 50% – an ambivert. Perhaps his up-bringing plays a part as well.

If you like to do the quiz, here is the link:

http://healthland.time.com/2012/01/27/quiz-are-you-an-introvert-an-extrovert-or-an-ambivert/

The family had asked what the show was about. I was vague. ‘Something about teenager awakening,’ I said. Actually, the SISTIC website synopsis reads ‘Full of heart, humanity and humour, it tells the tale of a group of teenagers embarking on a turbulent journey of self-discovery, each one experiencing a dramatic psychological/emotional/spiritual/sexual awakening.’

At the Drama Centre, the usher took one look at Aaron and asked me how old was he. ‘Thirteen,’ I replied, worried if he would not be allowed it. I hadn’t seen any restriction when I booked the tickets. The usher explained that the musical had mature theme and are not suitable for children below 12, as it was rated NC 16. But since Aaron is (or coming) 13, he was allowed in.

We were seated up close, so close that at times, I felt the singers were looking right at me when they were singing. The stage had a triangular arch with a stained glass window at the top. I asked Aaron where he thought this place was and he replied, ‘Church’.

The musical was written by Frank Wedekind (1864-1918) and takes place in 1900 Germany. (Great for Aaron as he is taking German language.) Like present time Singapore, teenagers are expected to do well academically and not bring shame to their parents. The teenagers, other than coping in school, are also curious about the birds and bees. Sex education are not taught and parents have no idea how to embark on the subject, preferring to brush the questions aside instead of explaining where babies come from. And so, the audience are introduced (if you are Aaron) or reminded (me!) on the angst and anxiety of being a teenager. While there is a small part which dealt with academic failure, the majority of the musical deals with teenage sexual issues like pornography, masturbation, homosexuality, first time sex and abortion, most of which were played out quite explicitly that night. This mother watching was very uncomfortable seating among her sons. Well, I hope that covers everything Aaron needs to know about sex.

Story line aside, the modern music/songs are rather dull and none is catchy enough to leave an impression. The costumes – dresses for the girls and bermudas for the boys are familiar enough that the scene could have taken place in tropical Singapore instead of Germany. The adults wear more ‘period costumes’.

The young actors are enthusiastic, and in my opinion, quite brave, to act out on stage the various intimate acts. (Two boys, or men, kissing quite passionately.) Adrain Pang was brilliant as he took on the various adult roles like teachers, parents, pastor, and doctors etc. It was a family affair for the Pangs as his sons also acted and his wife was the director.

An adult watching this musical would probably come away with a different view from a teenager. I had felt awkward and uncomfortable even if my children were not with me. And how did the teenagers (one almost 13 and one over 19) felt about the musical? Andreas was more vocal. There wasn’t much self-discovery other than sexual, and he wasn’t impressed with the music. I should add that there is a mention by one about not believing in God – blasphemy at that time.

And Aaron? Okay lah, said the almost teenager. Typical!

This is her final book I am reading. Unlike all the other books, the story line is more central to America, although the protagonist family (if there is such a thing) is unlike any typical American family.

Doyle, an ex-mayor of Boston, adopted two ‘African American’ boys into his family. Soon after, his wife died, leaving him to bring up three sons, one biological and two adopted. He hopes his children will take an interest in politics and makes them go to political speeches. Unfortunately, they do not share his interest. Sullivan, the eldest, takes off to Africa. Thomas, or Tip as he is called, is into ichthyology, the study of fishes. The youngest Teddy, can reproduced all the political speeches by heart, wants to be a catholic priest like his maternal uncle, Uncle Sullivan.

One day, as they are heading home after listening to a political speech in a snowstorm, a woman saves Tip’s live by pushing him away from an approaching car. Tip breaks his ankle and she breaks her hips. There, the family is introduced to Tennessee, Tip’s saviour and her eleven-year-old daughter, Kenya. To their astonishment, Kenya reveals that her mother and she have been watching them ever since she can remember. It has never occurred to Doyle that Tip and Teddy’s mother would appear one day.

With Tennessee in the hospital, the Doyle family has no choice but to bring Kenya home with them. Tip and Teddy have to deal with the anguish of living among the privilege white family while their black biological family lives in poverty a street away. They had blamed their mother for abandonment but she had given them opportunities that Kenya dreams about.

How does the family reconcile? The tender family drama is dealt with sensitivity and warmth.

Americans have adopted many children all over the world and have given them homes generously and without prejudice, something Asians are not known to do.  It’s gratifying seeing how Doyle treats the sons equally and carries the same ambition for his sons, blind to their blood ties and skin colours.

My aunt had called the night before to warn me not to be ‘too emo’ about it. Her sisters had cried and she probably did as well when her only son got enlisted. I assured her I wouldn’t. I had been eagerly anticipating this day, and the only regret is what I thought was a three-month absence became nine weeks and then Ivan told me, ‘I’ll be back on 17 Feb.’ Huh? Why so soon?

As soon as we arrived at Tekong, a man in uniform told Ivan, ‘Tuck your shirt in.” I expected Andreas to be told the same thing but he was spared. The square yellow sticker on Ivan’s shirt had distinguished him from Andreas’ yellow round sticker. The new recruits were separated immediately and the families were ushered into a tour bus with a complimentary goodie bag each, comprising a bottle of water, an oreo pack and a tissue packet.

We toured around the facility. The beach and sea surrounding the buildings gave the island a resort feel. Despite the noon sun, there were many recruits jogging and playing ball. They were the early entrants because of the lack of fitness. They waved to the parents cheekily as we drove by.

The dorms we toured were clean and the thick 8-inch mattress could be even more comfortable for some recruits than what’s at home. Mike was particularly impressed with the steel cabinets. His had been wooden and they had to stick papers to the wooden planks. ‘Look!’ He exclaimed, “A compartment for the rifle!’ I think if given the chance, he would want to enlist again. The mothers were more concern about the domestic stuff. We were told they have to wash the laundry by hand in the one bucket provided each and dry the wet clothes on the strings just outside the window. The bed sheets are collected by professional laundry and changed weekly.

We were led to a lecture theatres and shown the light weight uniforms, the Acsics shoes, cool sandals, the state of the art water bag, the waterproof boots and even the strong insect repellent provided. The field packs had lotus roots with peanuts, glutinous rice or pastas.

Next, we were driven to the auditorium where the recruits were already seated and watching a video. We searched excitedly for Ivan. Not one recruit turn to meet our eyes or wave. They stared stoically on the screen ahead. None of us could locate him in the sea of similar faces.

The commanding officer gave us a briefing as to what was to come for these young men. He assured us that safety is the paramount concern and all recruits would be taken care of. There are many channels for these men to voice out. A short video was shown on how generations of men have gone through NS, something all parents should be proud of.

After the video, the recruits stood to take the oath. As they ended the speech about protecting Singapore with “My Life”, I felt a lump in my throat. (In case like my brother you didn’t read properly, it’s not a ‘tear to my eye’ but a ‘lump in my throat’.) As a mother, I gave him this life and to hear him swears his allegiance to his country somehow makes me feel as I had also contributed.

It’s often said doing NS transform a boy to a man, that alone is reason enough for me to support NS. Thus I am astonished that some parents are rather apprehensive about NS. A friend told me she knows of a German who actually chose to serve NS in Singapore. Yesterday, there was an angmoh in Ivan’s company as well.

We enjoyed ourselves yesterday and was assured and comforted by the arrangement done for the family of new recruits. My eldest son, Andreas, would be enlisting in the next few months and he is certainly looking forward to it.

My family arrived early and the boys immediately attacked the dish of braised peanuts. They requested another plate and I reminded them that it’s not free. The new plate arrived, bearing few countable pieces. ‘Twenty peanuts!’ I counted. If you want to be miserable about peanuts, then served it in little sauce dish like other restaurants, instead of the long oval plate. Chinese food is unlike French food. We want to see abundance, not tiny art piece. (That’s why I don’t visit French Restaurants.)

The Teochew Prosperity Raw Fish was refreshing, with its serving of local lettuce and parsley. The fish maw soup tasted exactly like shark’s fin soup. We didn’t notice the lack of shark’s fin. Everyone enjoyed the thinly sliced goose meat, which goes well with rice drenched in braising sauce. A disappointment was the pomfret, which was over-cooked.

Half way through the meal, a waitress came over and told us that they had served our other table a half portion of suckling pig wrongly, so would we want to top up by ordering the other half for our table? We declined, and she told us apologetically that she had to charge us $98 for the pig. If we don’t pay, the part-time waitress would have to pay for her mistake. She continued to persuade us to order the other half-portion. The other people on our table reasoned that shouldn’t the dish be free then if it’s not our mistake? Finally, I asked if at least they should give us a discount and they agreed to charge us 50%, which worked out to be $45 for that half portion.

It’s just as well we didn’t order the pig, for the other table consisting of five teenage boys couldn’t finish the Teochew Fried Noodles, but everyone managed to clean up their small bowl of Sweet Yam Paste with Mandarin Orange.

That’s the problem with Hung Kang Restaurant. The food quality is inconsistent, and they lack the service expected of a similar class restaurant. We certainly would not visit there again anytime soon.

My two eldest sons would be joining the rat race pretty soon. In their plans for the future are probably the 5 C’s, which is good. But I have another 5 C’s which I hope they will take into consideration as well.

Denise Phua, MP and Director of PathLight School, recently wrote  about her 5 C’s in MyPaper. It was thought-provoking and something every parent should want for their children – Character, Competence, Compassion, Conviction and Contribution.

She explains as such:

1) Character – We should strive to do what’s morally right, regardless of whether you are seen doing it or not. The best way to judge a person’s character is to see how he treats someone who could not offer any advantages or cannot defend himself – someone like the migrant worker or the domestic helper. Why is character so important? Many people are concerned about protecting or raising their reputation, when in fact, reputation is what others accord you, but character is yours always for keep.

2) Competence – To have character without competence is incomplete. A person with character should strive to be competent in skills and knowledge so as to attain his highest accomplishment. Would you trust a doctor with character but no competence?

3) Compassion – When you help others out of compassion, do you get disappointed when you are taken for granted, or receive no recognition for the help rendered?

4) Conviction – Living in a society with high expectation and values good results can be daunting, leaving many to give up their dreams. Thus, having the conviction to pursue your dream  is just as important as dreaming.

5) Contribution – Shopping is no longer the leisure activity of Singaporeans, complaining is. If you really need to complain, make a contribution and suggestion to solving the problem at the same time.

I know many of my peers, parents of young adults, who have no qualms in purchasing the material 5 C’s for their children – supplementary credit cards, cars even before the kids start working, condos as wedding gifts. These are expensive gifts.

But for me, the 5 C’s Denise Phua just gave me, which I shall in turn hand to my sons, are priceless.

Thank You, MP Denise Phua.

Yet in families where there are only (married) daughters, the families have reunion dinners with their daughters before Chinese New Year’s Eve as traditionally, daughters have reunion dinners with their husbands’ families.

What does that say about sons and daughters? Daughters, traditionally viewed as ‘married out’ are more often than not, the glue that holds families together.

I am generalizing, of course. My in-laws, a family with three sons have reunion dinners with their parents without fail. In fact, the three sons congregate at their parents’ house every Saturday night, not just on Chinese New Year’s Eve.

When I asked my friend why she doesn’t eat reunion dinners with her mother-in-law, a widow, her reply was the simple reason that her mother-in-law has never once invited them over for a meal. In the other family, the eldest son is estranged from the father, a widower.

Is having reunion dinners with your family really that important? Do we pity those who eat their dinner on Chinese New Year’s Eve like any other night’s dinner, without their extended families around?

Yasmin Ahmad’s short video on Reunion Dinner reminds us on the many who do not have families to eat reunion dinners with. She depicted a little boy, but it could also be an elderly living in a home as well.

My Maternal Grandmother usually eats reunion dinner with my mother, until she decided this year that she is unable to leave her house. My aunt offered to bring the family and the food to her instead but was rejected. “Don’t be so troublesome!” Gran chided her. Aunt was understandably upset. Doesn’t Gran feel the importance of Reunion Dinner?

Some of us take our family for granted. It is thus not surprising that siblings end up like strangers, and cousins end up not knowing each other. Some view family gatherings as a waste of time, and would rather stay away. Bee recounted how her eldest brother called up at that very afternoon they were supposed to have a Christmas Bar-B-Q to cancel for his family of five. He too does not eat reunion dinners with his mother and siblings (family of three sons too). Sad to say, my maternal Uncle did that too on our Chinese New Year gathering, calling my mother to cancel on that afternoon itself. You can guess who he spend his reunion dinners with, not his mother, that’s for sure, but then Gran does not mind it too.

So if you had your reunion dinner with your extended family, count yourself fortunate that you belong to an extended family that treasures you.

I am quite confident that I know Aaron and Andreas fairly well, perhaps not so for Ivan, who tends to be more evasive. So it was a coincidence that I found this quiz online. I did a blind test together with Aaron and compared answers.

I would say I score pretty well (7/10)Some of his answer I would disagree if I may – not having his food of choice is more upsetting than not having to use the computer.

And he told me he finished reading Freedom (by Daniel Suarez) the night before without my knowledge. So I am partially right on that too. (Check his own cancellation.)

Plus I had to remind him how he is afraid of any insects (other than ants).

It was a fun exercise for both of us. I should try this with my two other sons, except that as young adults, I really don’t need and don’t want to know too many things about them.

Take this quiz yourself, Moms! By the way essentialparenting.sg is a great website for parents. Do check it out.

You may live under the same roof, but do you really understand junior? Take this quiz to find out. – by Nur’Ain Zainuddin 

1. What is the name of your child’s best friend?
2. What makes your child happy?
3. What upsets your child?
4. What is his favourite piece of clothing?
5. He loves to watch…?
6. Your child is currently reading ….?
7. What accomplishment is he most proud of?
8. What is your child’s biggest fear?
9. What does your child like to do in his free time?
10. What does your child want to be when he grows up?

If you scored:

0 to 3 – Hmm… it looks like you may need to spend a little more time bonding with your child. Start to get to know him using the list above! A simple tip: make use of meal times to find out what’s going on in his life (and not in front of the TV). Remember, communication is key.

4 to 6 – Not a bad score, and here’s how you can improve. Encourage your child to open up to you more through active listening – look at your child while he is sharing and re-phrase what he says; this shows that you are attentive. Also, what about some family games after dinner to reveal your playful and goofy side? Playing together creates shared memories and will help you get to know your child better.

7 to 10 – Wow! You sure know your kid well. Keep it up!

Han Myung Wol is training for special force officer in the North Korea Army. Her role in North Korea was to go around arresting people who secretly watch Korean dramas, which is against the law there. The problem is, the high officers are often the ones breaking the rules. To get around this, the higher authorities decided that they should also have a super star like Kang Woo in North Korea. Even better, they would get Kang Woo to defect voluntarily to North Korea.

Thus Myung Wol is sent to South Korea to try to get Kang Woo to fall in love with her and marry her. The problem is, being in the military has made her lose touch with her feminine side. Two N Korean spies are thus engaged to be her fake parents in S Korea ato teach her the ways to seduce Kang Woo.

Kang Woo, being the superficial type, is attracted to her but does not see himself as being attached to someone of a lower status. To make it complicated, another N Korean spy, the handsome Choi Ryu, is sent there as Myung Wol’s superior, but is actually on another mission to retrieve an old map for rare earths. He falls in love with Myung Wol and arouses Kang Woo’s jealousy.

This drama made headlines during filming because the lead actress Han Ye Seul quit halfway, leaving everyone in a bind as the drama was already televised. But she returned and apologised to the whole crew after two weeks.

If you do watch the drama, notice the many ‘Angry Birds’ stuff toys displayed around Kang Woo’s and Myung Wol’s parents’ house. I was wondering if they had any significance.

I enjoyed this light comedy. The first and several episodes were filmed in Singapore (MBS and Orchard Road).